Hello Everybody,
This is Pam. I wanted to add some closure to My Big Fat
Greek Cancer and try to fill in some details since Steve’s last posting at the
end of July. Thank you everybody for all your support, love, and kind words. I hope
this somehow helps you deal with the loss that we are all feeling. I know it
helped me just to write it.
After being summarily dismissed by his oncologist at the end
of June, Steve spent July holding his own against the cancer. He walked at
least a mile every morning, listened to books (he could no longer read), and was able to enjoy his pool.
But at the beginning of August, the slide downhill began.
First clue: After he returned from a walk one day, I noticed a large scrape and
blood on the side of his right calf. Alarmed, I asked him if he had fallen, and
he responded, “What are you talking about?” He had no memory of falling and
didn’t even feel the wound.
He fairly quickly lost control and feeling of his right
side. After a number of falls and calls to friends or the fire department to
help lift him off the floor, Steve went into home hospice about the middle of
August. He was somewhat aware during a heartwarming
Labor Day weekend with Russ and Melody and friends Sue and Mike, but then
rapidly declined. He stopped eating or drinking last Thursday and took his last
breath about 6:15 Saturday morning.
Steve suffered greatly this past year. I’m looking at the
hideous mask that he wore during six weeks of radiation. I’ve just disposed of
the anti-nausea medication he needed during months of chemotherapy and the pain
pills he took during his attack of shingles. Most of all, he suffered from his
loss of language and the inability to find the words to express himself. Let’s
face it—Steve loved nothing better than to talk and express his opinions. Yet I
don’t believe he ever revealed any of this suffering in his blog. He would just
sometimes say to me, “Things are getting harder for me, Pam.”
Rest in peace, hon.
For anyone who is interested in a contribution to the memory of Steve please consider donating here: National Brain Tumor Society.
Love,
Pam
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