So begins one of my favorite stories by one of my favorite writers: Dancing Dan's Christmas by Damon Runyon. Many of you know this story because I have sent it to you in the past. Runyon is of course the legendary short story writer whose stories of broads, booze, and bums inspired popular shows and films such as Guys and Dolls, The Lemon Drop Kid, Pocketful of Miracles and other faves. Runyon's stories are hilarious and of course always in the PRESENT TENSE - a style from which he never strays.
Unless you're an unconscionable Grinch, ya gotta love Christmas, right? What's not to like? Stuffing yourself, hanging with people you (hopefully) love or at least like, and getting amnesia about what a miserable place the world is for at least a day. I know there are the "war on Christmas" loons who get their yuletide jollies by chastising us for "forgetting the "meaning of Christmas" but thankfully these are in the minority. The roots of the traditions we celebrate around Christmas began in various places around the world well before the birth of Christ, which is only one of the events that contributes to the holiday. Christ sure wasn't born freezing his little holy keester off in some stable on December 25th, but when Christians wanted to start celebrating his birthday, what better time to do it than when all the pagans were partying down for Saturnalia during the winter solstice? This way, Christians could observe their holiday undercover, without worrying about being fed to lions in the Coliseum.
So, while I am happy for all Christians who celebrate the birth of their lord at this time of year, please don't begrudge us non-believers our share of the holiday. Hell, almost every Jew I ever grew up with had a Christmas tree in his house at this time of the year. The celebration of making it through yet another year and the anticipation of a fresh start in the new year belongs to everyone. And by the way, it's OK to say "Merry Christmas" to anyone you feel like saying it to. I do it all the time.
So I will close by offering up the same holiday tale to you again this year. Settle in with some hot or cold liquid holiday cheer, click on the link below and enjoy the story. Better yet, download the pdf and print it out. Don't worry, the file is "safe." I greatly appreciate the opportunity to share the holidays with you in any way that we can.
MERRY CHRISTMAS AMIGOS! SEE YOU SOON! HAHA!
